2. Lessons Learned
Feb 12, 2021
Hey Chadderbox,
I went through a break up a few months ago, which was hard, but it’s been harder than usual because we still live together. I can hear your laugh in my head right now. I know, I know.
It’s a rare experience to grieve the loss of a relationship when you’re mere feet away from each other the entire time.
Do you remember how I ugly cried every time I watched Simon Birch walk out on that dock after he accidentally kills his best friend’s mom (pure art, I will stand by Simon Birch forever). Well, yeah. I ugly cried to that extent often around him as I worked through it all. He gently let me know the sound of the shower and my go-to breakup song on repeat does not drown out the sound of my crying. WhOoPs.
It took a few months, but I finally turned a corner and I’m doing better. I’m at the point now where I can look back fondly at a few things I’ve learned.
I don’t need to give up my independence to prove to someone I’m in. If they’re uncomfortable with that, they’re likely not a good match. When I tell you I’m committed, I’m committed.
Actions speak for themselves, and I am getting better at listening.
It’s ok to get mad. I justified certain things for too long because I didn’t want to come across a certain way. If I were honest with myself sooner, it wouldn’t have been so hard.
YOU MUST WATCH ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND THE NIGHT AFTER YOU BREAK UP TO GET THE GRIEVING PROCESS ROLLIN’ FULL SPEED AHEAD, FOLKS.
Learning to love someone as a friend after you’ve loved them romantically is hard at first, then beautiful.
Someone can tell you they’re all in. They can promise you after that concert, they can sign the lease during a pandemic. But they’re also free to change their mind.
When you have more time all of a sudden, you have more time to find new music and to make a particularly hard hitting break up playlist.
You can love someone and not be with them.
Thank you for letting me think it all through with you. God, I’m so glad I remember your laugh. Thank you for being there for me.
Love you like a brother.
—BreSoftware
